Butterbean Bouquet

Kitty-Cat Klinker

2010-07-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

"He's in the jailhouse. . .MEOW; He's in the jailhouse . . . MEOW; Well I told him once or twice, to stop chewing cords and chasing mice, and he's in the jailhouse. . . MEOW."

Sam really did NOT like his new pet carrier. He proceeded to let me know this - in tones that I think I can accurately describe as ranging from pathetic to furious - throughout the entire 11-hour journey from Atlanta to Arkansas.

icecreamicecreamicecreamicecream!!!!!

2010-06-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

Summer is officially here, and I am already working hard to fulfill my self-designated ice cream/frozen treat quota for the season. I was able to check #4 off of my summer to-do list yesterday when I visited the "King of Pops" boutique "paleta" stand on North & N. Highland Aves. There were many good options. I was initially torn between Lemon Mint, Strawberry Cheesecake, and Mocha/Chocolate Sea Salt. Pops cost $2.50 a pop (literally! How often do you get to say that?), but he was running a special: $1.50 for "mystery pops" from the previous day. I'm not afraid of adventure, so I got a red one, which ended up being Strawberry-Basil, which I loved. My companion got Honeydew Lime, which I tasted and was very refreshing.

I noticed that the Dairy Queen's Blizzard is celebrating 25 years of life this year, and since I'm a sucker for advertising (especially when I'm hungry), I went to get one this afternoon. I was in a peanut butter frame of mind, so I got a Reese's PB cup blizzard with some hot fudge on the top. Dee-licious.

What frozen treats do you reach for in the summertime? What form of high-fructose-corn-syrup-precipitation tickles your tongue? What big chain or homegrown ice cream-habit-enabler is your favorite? Let me know!

Duly Noted/Black Humor

2010-06-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

The church that I thought was going to hire me found that they didn't have the money in the budget after all, so I've decided to return to Arkansas for the remainder of the summer slash until further notice, because a divorced, religionless, ex-minister with half a completed master's degree isn't truly humiliated until she moves back in with her parents at age 27.

On a totally unrelated note, I heard a high-larry-ous joke today on "Last Comic Standing":

"When I was a little kid I just couldn't wait to be a grown up. Now that I'm grown up, I can't wait for death."

To: Lovers of Nail Polish ---------- From: The Earth

2010-06-10T04:57:00.000-07:00

I love nail polish. When my toe and finger nails aren't polished, I feel naked. I love all different kinds of colors, and have very specific and very anal-retentive rules for how and where I wear them. I credit my weekly mani-pedi with getting through my first year of seminary with any degree of sanity. No, really, and here's why: it takes a good 2-2.5 hours to do your nails, during which time you can't really move or you risk ruining it. During that time I really couldn't do anything besides watch a movie. It was forced relaxation time. I would do my nails every Sunday night, then plan my week's outfits around whatever color I was wearing. I think one of the best things about summer is getting to show off fun and prettily-polished toes. However, if you're like me, the harsh chemicals and strong smell of the polish is a huge downside.

This month, in honor of Earth Day, Zoya Nail Polish is offering six new shades of its eco-friendly polish when you mail in six old bottles of polish as part of its Zoya Nail Polish Exchange. You pay $3.50 per bottle for shipping, or $21 for six new bottles of Zoya polish. Each bottle normally goes for $7. Zoya Nail Polish is free of toluene, formaldehyde, DBP (phthalates) and camphor. Through June 30, 2010, send in six (or more) bottles of old polish of any brand besides Zoya, Qtica or Nocti, and they will send you six colors of your choice.

Here's the link: http://www.zoya.com/content/38/category/Nail_Polish_Exchange.html

Have fun choosing! And let me know which colors you get!

Random Goodness

2010-06-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

Date Pictures

Event #1 - Dinner @ Leon's/Dessert @ The Chocolate Bar

I had fun dressing up. My friend, Rose, who used to do costuming in theatre, helped me get dressed. The '40's outfit called for, I felt, a proper cocktail. I had a "Spring Chicken" - strawberry, lemon & grapefruit flavors with a whipped egg white. It was very refreshing.

I'm not trying to be self-absorbed by posting three pictures of myself; which one do y'all prefer? I'm thinking about using one for my new profile picture.

I wanted a nice, atmospheric pic of my dessert coffee. I took about 10, but won't subject you to all that jazz. I'm still experimenting with features on my camera.

W. didn't know I was taking this - he probably would have smiled if he had.

Event #2 - The CNN Center/ Centennial Olympic Park (Today)

I ran into Wolf Blitzer in the lobby. He wanted to make out with me, but I was like, "Dude, my boyfriend might get jealous." So we just posed for this picture instead.

On Hope

2010-06-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

"Hope is rooted in our human incompleteness, from which we move out in constant search, a search which can be carried out only in communion with other people. As long as I fight, then I am moved by hope, and if I fight with hope, then I can wait." - Paulo Freire, "Pedagogy of the Oppressed"

The. Worst. Day. Ever.

2010-05-27T17:59:00.000-07:00

Let's jump right in, shall we? Yesterday B. came to move out his things. I tried to prepare myself emotionally, but from almost the moment I woke up I was frazzled and jittery. Nothing had been sorted. Nothing had been packed. This made me even more freaked out, because while I am the type of person to go through every single, tiny item in the house before moving (and sort into PACK or THROW AWAY piles), B. prefers to literally grab everything, throw it into garbage bags, and haul it away. Doesn't matter who it belongs to, doesn't matter if it's something you're going to throw away - if it's in the house on moving day, it's going with you.
Now, you might say to yourself, "Whitney, if you know this, why didn't you go through everything and sort out what belongs to you?" Well, nameless person, I would say to that - "I'm sorry, does it look like my responsibility to sort through all his shit for him?" No, it does not. A prideful matter of principle for me. Well, that, and OH YEAH I HAVE 5 PAPERS DUE THIS WEEK. If I had nothing else going on in my life, and if hadn't moved on from the "sad" stage of grief to "anger" last week, I might have done it.

So, I'm sorting through the laundry, finding random socks of his to put in a "B. pile," when I hear a knock on the door. It's the girl who wants to buy my car (let me catch you up - I'm trying to sell my lemon of a car and found someone who actually wants to buy it, problems and all). She wants the car today. As in now. I'm fine with that - I need the money - but I can't locate the title. I know I had it a few months ago. I even remember saying to myself, "I'd better put this someplace special so I won't lose it." However, I have absolutely no idea where that special place now is. So I'm hurriedly digging through old files and boxes before B. arrives in a frantic attempt to find it. Spolier alert - I didn't find it and still haven't found it, but that doesn't matter anyway because while I was sorting through a pile of letters, catalogs and tax forms, I found a letter from a month ago I had overlooked. It was a letter from a collection agency informing me that my bill of $600 had not been paid to AT&T and that they would be handling the retrieval of said debt. Now, this is how self-critical I can be sometimes: when I read the letter, I ASSUMED I had incurred that debt somehow. My cell phone is with AT&T, after all. But, I have a "Go Phone" account, and it's impossible to go over your limit with that account - that's why I got it. Then I saw a sentence at the bottom of the letter that gave me a sick feeling: "If you think you have been the victim of theft of identity, please call the AT&T Identity Theft hotline at this number." Sidebar - I don't know if I think it's awesome or creepy that AT&T has a special division dedicated to identity theft.

I called the number and talked to my new best friend Diane, who, after checking the records and asking me a series of questions, confirmed that, yes, someone had stolen my identity and used my credit to pay for a home phone line from March 2008-February 2009. Someone, apparently, in Austell, Georgia. I don't even know anyone there. I don't even know where Austell, Georgia is! The worst part - when she confirmed my social security number, she told me that they have it. Which is 10,000 times worse than someone just stealing your credit card number. So now, not only do I have to fill out tons of paperwork for AT&T (for their "investigation," according to Diane), I also have to contact the Social Security Administration, credit check companies, and God-knows-who-else. I think the scariest thing for me is knowing that this happened over two years ago and I'm just now finding out about it. What other charges are going to show up under my name? My dad and I have worked hard to establish good credit in my name . . .and someone can undo all that hard work in seconds.

I don't even know what else to say about that right now. I got my identity stolen. It sucks hard.

This is in addition to having to meet with the Dean of Academic Affairs on Monday. Because my GPA dropped from a 3.8 to a 2.8 in a matter of months, I was placed on academic probation. It is extremely shameful to me, and hard to talk about. I want everyone to think I'm perfect. I want everyone to think I'm the student I always have been. What can I say? Things have been hard. Really, really hard. I'm coping - sometimes in healthy ways, sometimes in not-so-healthy ways. So I sat there in her office, tears rolling down my face, as she suggested I not return to Candler next semester. No asking me why my GPA dropped so drastically; no asking me what Candler could do to help me; just that I couldn't get any more extensions and that maybe I should consider dropping out. Like she's so perfect, like she's never flunked a class - I'm pretty sure she at least flunked out of Pastoral Care and Counseling, or at least skipped the class where they talked about how to show basic courtesy to a student balling in your office.

That's my week so far. I still have ass-ton to do to finish this blasted, cursed semester. Also, B. didn't take all of his things, my place is a wreak, and new roomate is supposed to be moving in this weekend. Shit. Shit-shit-shit-shit-shitty-shit-shit. I just felt like cursing there for a minute.

The one bright spot right now is W. He has been an absolute gem through this whole ordeal. He found me a free mattress and picked it up for me, helped me move furniture, WASHED MY DISHES, and brought me apple pie and chocolate. Also, he bought me french fries and absolved me of the sin of eating chicken mcnuggets. He's pretty much been the best *ahem* boyfriend ever.

Are y'all tired of praying for me yet? 'Cause I'm gonna need you to keep it up.

"Hot Time, Summer in the City!"

2010-05-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

2010 Atlanta To-Do List: "Summer of Whitney" edition

1.) Attend a Braves game

2.) Take advantage of cheap, first-release movies at the Starlight Six drive-in

3.) See the 12 a.m. Friday night showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" at the classic Plaza Theatre

4.) Try this guy's organic, homemade popsicles (strawberry-basil, anyone?)

5.) Take a tasting tour of the "Sweetwater Brewery"

6.) Tour the CNN Center

7.) Go clubbing at the Velvet Room, in hopes of bumping into Luda

8.) While I'm celebrity-stalking, I may as well hang out at Lenox Mall to try and run in to Usher

9.) Go see classic and new movies on the largest screen in the city at the "Fabulous Fox"! Theatre (the organist plays the "Mighty Mo" organ for those who arrive early, AND "The Wizard of Oz" is playing June 4!)

10.) Walk the new Canopy Walk at the Atlanta Botanical Garden

Any other "can't miss" events happening in the "A" this summer?

Living with Migraines

2010-05-20T15:16:00.000-07:00

For the past six days, I have had a near-constant, low-grade migraine. Symptoms have included everything from sensitivity to light, smells, and sounds, constant pressure behind my eyes, fatigue, dizziness, blinding pain and nauseau. I can keep it somewhat tamped down by flooding my body with otc meds and caffeine and sleeping with an ice pack on my neck. I have prescription meds for it, but taking promethazine has an almost "scorched earth" effect on my body; I'm a zombie for 36-50 hours.

I know what the current cause is - stress. I have so much work to do, so many decisions to make, so many difficult and tedious details to handle, that my body, spirit, and consciousness just want to shut down. Finding the motivation to attack the mountain of work is difficult in the best of health; now, it seems impossible.

I'm so tired. My body is tired. My mind is tired from the pressures of school - both real and imagined. Most of all, my spirit is tired. I try not to complain too often - I have wonderful friends and family who love me, material blessings, educational opportunities, food in the fridge and a safe place to sleep at night. But it's been really hard for me to be motivated, optimistic, and ambitious lately. The past 2-3 years have been so hard. So hard. I know other people deal with worse problems, and I try to remember that and be grateful for my life, but I just feel like a hamster caught in a wheel. Things just keep going and going, but nothing ever changes.

I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I want out of life anymore. I feel like nothing in my life has worked out the way I was told it would - like God gave me a beautifully wrapped gift, only I opened it to find the box empty. I don't even really know why I keep this blog. I guess it just seemed like something fun to do because my friends were doing it. Well, I don't know who reads this or why - but will you pray for me? I don't know how or if prayer works, but I know it makes me feel better. And I really need to feel better .

Taste of Summer

2010-05-18T14:46:00.000-07:00

I realize I haven't really blogged in a while - I've just uploaded pix. Honestly, though, this is much more fun for me. I don't have to think of a topic, and I'm really not that keen to share everything that's going on in my life or head, anyway. I promise a real blog update is coming soon. For now, though, here is another attempt to catalog the neighborhoods of Atlanta.

One recent afternoon William and I walked from Columbia Seminary to downtown Decatur to get some frozen yogurt. We bopped around the square there for a minute, then walked back to campus. The pix are mainly of the square and flora I captured around campus.

Doesn't this picture look like it could be in a food magazine? This is William's yogurt. I believe he got vanilla with chocolate sauce, strawberries and kiwis.

Yum!

I got strawberry and honey orange zest yogurts, and put a few white chocolate chips on top.

Over-priced dress boutique. The only thing I could afford in here are those construction-paper flowers in the window. . .

That mist is actually the fountain. It blows up around the sculpture of kids flying around the world and looks like clouds.

Sculpture in front of Twain's Brewpub. You're sure to find at least one seminarian in here at anytime.

Dogwoods on Agnes Scott's campus

I told y'all in my post on "Reynoldstown" that I'm obsessed with doorways.

I have no idea why these concrete posts are marked with Vs/Roman Numeral 5s and spray-painted blue. I just know I like it. And now, cropped in to make a W:

So, this crushed paper cup (I think?) was wadded up and thrown in the gutter. In my mind, the object resembles some kind of beautiful, exotic, origami-ish crane. To me, it looks like the head is facing the leaf, trying have a conversation with it. Kindof like and "Are You My Mother?" thing. A very weird, Tim Burton daydream.

Irises on Dickinson, Whiskey Stills on Rose. . .

2010-05-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

More scenes from DeWitt: my mother's garden, including her precious bottle tree; shots from my neighborhood, including a neighbor's miniature city in his backyard, aka "Foxville."

Part & Parcel: My Biking Route at Home

2010-04-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

Between 5 and 7 p.m., Monday, April 26, along AR Rt. 130. Cloudy, but still like walking thru parts of heaven. These pictures really do not do justice to the beauty of this place.

blue & gold are our school colors;

i can't see these colors combined in clothing without thinking

of every pep squad, cheerleading, and homecoming t-shirt i have ever owned

. . . that i could convey- the opening of summer - the first buds of honeysuckle- thousands of ladies-in-waiting, roadside beauties

The smell is:

dry & sweet- hay, honeysuckle, fresh manure

moist & pungent - creatures of God formerly living, and heated asphalt

The farmland is freshly tilled and waiting.

Not my favorite - I like late summer, tall blades of corn and rice rising to the skies

This Land My Body

"Not Buying It" List

2010-04-05T10:15:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to read "Not Buying It," by Judith Levine (check out her website - http://judithlevine.com/), ever since the book came out a couple of years ago. In my cosmology, this woman is a saint. She gives up buying anything but necessities for a year and journals about it. The book is an exploration of consumer culture, self-analysis, and happiness. Although I haven't read the book yet, I heard the author speak about her techniques for coping with her impulse control. Whenever she really wanted to buy something, she catalogued it in a journal instead. After re-reading her list, she was shocked at some of the things she almost bought (lime green espadrille shoes).

I've been using this technique off-and-on to cope with my impulse to buy things. In my case, this stems from having no money as opposed to an anti-consumer culture self-discipline. I also use it to keep track of things I want to buy for when I do (eventually) have money. When I look back over my lists later, most of the time I find I still want those things. Sometimes, however, I find that what I wanted was a fleeting response to a fad, or something emotional that was going on in my life. That feeling of satisfaction I get from having saved money makes me feel better than any rush from binge-shopping.

So, all that is a preamble for my current "Lust List" - The Movie Edition:

PBS Masterpiece Classic: Wuthering Heights (2009)

$24.99 from "Shop PBS"

PBS Masterpiece Classic: Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice (1995)

$39.95 from "Shop PBS"

PBS Masterpiece Mystery!: Sherlock Holmes, the Complete Granada TV Series

$229.98 from "Shop PBS"

(click here to read about my history/obsession with this series)

Sense and Sensibility (1995)

$11.49 from Amazon.com

Pride & Prejudice (2005)

$11.49 from Amazon.com

I'm so familiar with all of these that I can't believe I don't already own them. This latest obsession was started a couple of weeks ago when I saw "Wuthering Heights" on PBS. The armchair psychologist in me is saying that my insatiable need to gorge on period-romantic-tragic-dramas is a response to what's going on in my life right now. I have trouble crying for myself. I wish I was a cryer, but I rarely melt down in that way. It comes easier, though, when I'm crying for a Jane Austen character, and not for myself.

What's on your "Not Buying It" list right now?

Stillborn Hope

2010-04-02T21:47:00.000-07:00

It is finished.

John 19:30

"Crucifixion" by Jennie Szaltis

There is so much about this faith that I don't understand. "Blessed are the poor in spirit," "the last will be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven," "love your enemies," "Good" Friday. All of these things are, in fact, the exact opposite of what Jesus proclaimed them to be. How is it emotionally possible to love your enemy? How in the world are those in the depths of despair - those who literally long for death - blessed? Why do we call the memorial of this day, "good"? It wasn't good; it was terrible, horrific, terrifying. The worst possible outcome to a vibrant, life-giving, exciting, beautiful movement.

At the Good Friday service at Cannon Chapel today, I heard the speaker say something like, "Jesus loved perfectly, and he still died." Jesus loved perfectly, and he was beaten for it. He was hurt, and abandoned, and not loved in return. He did everything right . . . why did it end the way it did on that Friday?

Friends and Strangers, I want to tell you now that Brandon and I have decided to end our marriage. It has been a long, hard road. We are tired. We are hurt. We can't do this anymore. He moved out a couple of weeks ago, and the paperwork will be drawn up soon.

Despite knowing that this is for the best for both of us, I was unprepared for the force and variety of the pain this would engender. I am lonely, deeply sad, regretful, and hurt. I feel abandoned and unloveable. I feel like a failure - like I have let everyone down - especially Brandon. Mostly I blame myself, because if this is no one's fault, then where was God in all of this? What have the past 3 years been for? What was the point of everything? Why did I invest so much time, money, emotional energy into this one person? What was all that sacrifice for? Most of all, what use is it loving someone so much if it didn't amount to anything - didn't change anything? I tried. I really, really tried my best to be a loving wife and partner. But I couldn't fix it. My love wasn't enough.

Jesus' disciples had to have felt the same way. They gave up their old lives, pledged themselves to him - to his vision. They stopped thinking in terms of "me," to think in "we." They loved him - the best they could, anyway. They ate with him, slept next to him, went hungry with him, laughed and joked with him, were amazed and stunned that one person could love and challenge them beyond their wildest dreams. He put a new song in their heart - a hope that life could be different, better.

And then after all that, after healing and feeding all of those people, after loving so many people who were hungry for love, he was killed. His perfect love, and the strength of the vision, energy, and hope of his disciples, wasn't enough to keep out the crushing pain of the world. It happened. It shouldn't have. But it did. All the hope and the love and the toil and the tears and the newness and the beauty amounted to nothing in the end. It didn't do a damn thing to make the world any different than it had ever been. Jesus loved perfectly, and the disciples loved him and tried to love everybody else, too. But that hope was for nothing. It was stillborn.

After they left the execution, I think they must have acted the same way we would. They tried to drink the pain away, until they realized that drunk doesn't cure sad. Maybe they tried to find a new leader, or a new lover, or both. Maybe they laid down in bed and cried for 7 hours. Maybe they ran until they hurt, until they vomited, so they wouldn't have to think about it anymore. They hugged each other, and were scared, and thought that their lives were as good as over.

I know that Easter is coming in two days. I know what they didn't - that Jesus didn't stay dead. He re-created the world and turned death into life. The world did change because of what they did together. I know this, but I'm not ready for that yet. Good Friday is about remembering the pain, about being with others who are hurting. And I need that right now.

Surrounded by Prayers

2010-03-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

This week is "Tibet Week" at Emory. I'm not really sure what all that entails, but we have a relationship with the Dalai Lama. Once a year he comes and lectures. So, throughout the school year there will be awareness events about Buddhism and Tibet. There's all kinds of cool stuff that goes on, like mandala sand paintings and meditation lead by Buddhist monks. As I was walking across campus, I noticed all these beautiful Tibetan prayer flags hung up across the quad. Then, on the second floor of our building, I noticed an interactive prayer display set up in honor of Women's Week/Lent. One of the prayer stations was a "prayer tree." Throughout time and all over the world, people have written their prayers on scraps of cloth and tied them to trees. I loved the juxtaposition on my campus between these two beautiful traditions. It made me feel surrounded by prayers and connected to people across cultures and throughout time. Hope you enjoy the pictures.

Wear a Dress Tuesday!

2010-03-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

My good friend Sarah over at "The Strength of Faith" came up with the idea of "Wear a Dress" Tuesdays. She wrote a really awesome post about the psychological boost of wearing a dress and being in a community of women who are also dressed up for no good reason. Yesterday was the first time I participated, and, you know what? It DID make me feel better. I was having a really horrible day, so I put on a spring dress, over-did my eye make-up, and rocked it out on a Tuesday. It just made the day seem more. . .special. And getting compliments didn't hurt either. Unfortunately, I only have class from 6 - 9 p.m. on Tuesday, so I didn't see the other girls or get to be in the group shot. Anyway, here are a couple of pix of me - for Sarah!!!

Oh, did you want to know about my outfit? Okay. I bought both the dress and the jacket at the thrift store this weekend. I believe the dress was $3 and the little motorcycle jacket was $6. The black ballet flats were FREE because they came from a clothing "recycle" party hosted by my friend, Mary Beth. I bought the belt and leggings at a really cheap, really awesome store next to my Kroger called "Simply Fashion." I believe the tights were, like, $7 and the belt was $6. My friend, Margaret, bargained the necklace I'm wearing down from $8 to $5 at the Starlight Six Saturday Flea Market. It has a hand-painted Spanish basilica on it. The hoop earrings came from Target - a 3-pack for $15. Nailpolish is Sally Hansen Insta-Dri in "Blazing Blue." Really, it's more like a navy, which is why I bought it (my favorite color). And, my lip gloss is poppin'!!

From Heaven to Memphis

2010-03-22T13:53:00.000-07:00

I have been bursting to tell anyone within earshot about my new TRUCK!! After ALL the hassle of the past 7 months - I FINALLY have reliable transportation! It's pretty pathetic when you can't even enjoy the plush amenities of a new vehicle because you can't get over the fact that the car actually STARTS when you put the key in the ignition! And the radio works! I am living in the age of the Jetsons, my friends.
My wonderful parents graciously gave me my dad's three-year-old Mitsubishi Raider. They flew me into Memphis Friday night, and I drove that steel-gray beauty back to Atlanta on Saturday. I am ecstatic. And, after driving it around for a few days, I am surprised to find out that I absolutely love driving a truck. I never thought I'd be a truck girl, but there's such a visceral thrill that comes from having people move out of the way for you. I sit up higher, I can see better, and I can take up more space on the road. For a petite girl like me, it's quite a fun change to be "large and in charge," especially on Atlanta's crazy roads.
It has a short bed that is lined with "Rhino Lining." It is a four-door, dual cab interior, and is really surprisingly spacious. I am so happy, and, though I wouldn't have picked it for myself, I wouldn't drive anything else now. I don't have a pic of my truck, yet, but here's a promotional shot of one. The color is almost the same.

Call me if you want to go on a joy ride. Did I mention that I love it?

Reynoldstown On the Rise

2010-03-18T17:20:00.000-07:00

Today my "Church and Community Development" class took a field trip to the "Resources for Residents and Communities" center located in historic Reynoldstown. Reynoldstown is a community founded by freed slaves in 1886. It was settled by those looking for work in the rail yard and Stein Steel Company, which is still in existance. It is located off of Moreland, right down from Little 5. It was really cool. We got to speak to the workers of the RRC about the work they do with youth, seniors, and especially homeowners and homeowners-to-be. The community has come a long way in the 21 years the RRC has been in existance. The community is now ethnically, economically, and architecturally diverse. The best part of the trip was the tour of the colorful, vibrant neighborhood. . .which I'll share with you now!

This might look kindof trashy, but this house is actually really cool. The owner has limited yard space, but she still tricked it out with yard art and chickens! This house is right next to the RRC building.

The Magnetic Theater is now defunct, but was housed in one of the oldest churches in the neighborhood. The stone was quarried from Stone Mountain. They're looking for a current buyer. My classmates, from left to right: Lucas, Johann, Joung-Gu.

My class

From l to r: Corey, Gandhi, Reggie

I was complaining that, since I love to take pictures, I never get to be in any. So the Parkview Patriot graciously took this photo (thanks, Reggie!).

I'm little obsessed with pictures of doorways.

I really like the green doorframe and matching iron settee. The homes in this neighboorhood favored the old-style, 1950's iron patio furniture. Actually, that's a trend I've noticed all over Atlanta.

According to my classmates, this is a memorial to someone who has died.

This type of Zen-like, rock garden is popular in the neighborhood, especially among owners of the more modern-looking homes.

More chickens! These guys were just chillin' on the front steps - they weren't even fenced in!

This homeowner incorporated the logo for the Reynoldstown Neighborhood Association into his porch! The rising sun is a symbol of renewal, and goes along with their motto, "Reynoldstown On the Rise!" How beautiful is that?

Pictures of the local memorial garden.

This lady made art to hang from her tree.

Young Hughley, the head honcho at the RRC

Benita Taylor works with youth and seniors in the neighborhood.

More of my class before everyone got there.

Back row, l to r: Kathy, Sam, Marissa

Front: Randy, Jason, John

Look! I'm on TV!!!

2010-03-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

Last year, I heard about a local casting company that was looking for extras for an Ashton Kutcher movie filming in Atlanta. On a whim, I submitted a photo and filled out an application. Ever since, I have gotten regular email requests from the company to work on various projects filming in the area - primarily, a show called the "Vampire Diaries" which films here in Atlanta. I've never been able to do it before because you find out the time and date of filming relatively late and if you don't sign up right away, the spots are usually filled. Since I'm on spring break this week, though, my schedule is open and I've been looking for ways to make a little extra cash. Hence, my first (and probably last) foray this Monday into the crazy-train world of t.v. acting.

I got an email late the night before giving me directions to the location and instructions on what to bring and what to wear. The scene we were shooting was for a "pageant/debutante ball" so we were told to dress as though we were attending a "high-end wedding." Very dressy, with full hair and makeup. They stagger extra arrival times to facilitate a smooth check-in process, and I was asked to be there (Conyers) at 8 a.m. It was more than a little strange to get up at 5:30 a.m. and put on my best evening gown and tons of makeup. I packed a bag with a change of regular clothes and several other outfit choices (for the costume designer to review), some snacks (since I didn't know if/when I would be eating), and some books and magazines, per the suggestion of my actor friend, Tim.

After a lovely drive out of Atlanta and into the Georgia countryside (down a dirt road!), I arrived at a beautiful lakeside mansion, surrounded by woods and a veritable "tent city" teeming with people. Apparently, the "Vampire Diaries" soundstage is in Decatur, but because we were filming a special episode, they had rented out this mansion for a couple of weeks as the "Founder's Hall" of "Mystic Falls" (name of fictional town), in which this debutante ball is held.

The extras were all gathered (maybe 200 in all) in a big tent labeled, "EXTRAS HOLDING." To my delight, there was a huge breakfast spread with hot food, and all kinds of cereal, snack bars, candy, coffee, and juices. After check in, we were given the run-down for how the day would go by the director, "Snoop," and Erica, the costumer.

After some waiting around, we marched up to the house to shoot the first scene of the day. We were given numbered props - different drinks and appetizer plates. The scene was of the pageant contestants and their escorts waltzing in an outdoor courtyard. Our job was to surround the edge of the courtyard and gaze adoringly at the dancers while smiling with really goofy grins on our faces, which we did for the next 4 hours. Luckily, it was a really beautiful day. Although my feet ached in their stilettos, I relished the impromptu sunbathing. Many of us, prepared for a cold day and indoor scenes, got sunburned pretty badly. I felt especially bad for the guys, who sweltered in their tuxedo jackets. People always this, but it wasn't until I was actually involved in filming a scene for a show that I realized how many people and how much precision making television takes. For maybe 30 seconds of film, we shot for 4 hours. I really appreciated the difficulty, for the actors, of having to do the same motions and say the same dialogue in the same way over and over again. Of course, other extras told me that most scenes aren't this complicated. This, however, was a dance sequence, and a complicated episode, so it took a while for everything to be perfect. They shot the sequence from several different angles, which took a lot of patience and time from everyone involved. The only other scene I'm in involves my standing in a corner inside the house, again gazing adoringly at the main actress as she descended a spiral staircase when she was announced by the mayor of Mystic Falls.

In total, I worked about 6 hours. The rest of the (v e r y l o o o n g) day comprised my sitting in the extras tent, eating catered food and reading a book ("Beauvoir and Sartre: the Reshaping of a Twentieth-Century Legend" fyi-if-you-care). I didn't know until I arrived that most shooting days last 12 to 14 hours - a few more for the actors and even more for the producers, directors and technicians (when do they sleep?). I really didn't enjoy it as much as a thought I would. I had no idea what to expect, I went by myself (many of the extras did this with friends, and/or knew the others from other jobs), and it was just plain tiring. Being really dressed up all day and standing around in heels didn't help, either.

For me, the best part was getting to know the other extras, and getting a peek inside of a world totally different from my own (well, and making about $75, too!). The "extra" community is really intriguing. Most of the extras for this show seemed to be kids (college-aged?) who were either trying to break into acting or just had the flexiblity and availibility to be able to do it. It seemed like everyone knew each other from this and other shows. Many even commuted together to sets. The others involved were older - many doing this as their primary jobs. That really intrigued me, as I am way too type-A to ever want to rely on seasonal, unpredictable work for my primary means of support. I met Cornelius, who has been doing this for 20 years. He used to work on "In the Heat of the Night," and is currently writing a screenplay based on some of the storylines from the movie/show. He's played a police deputy on "Vampire Diaries," and knows "Snoop" fairly well. I stood next to him during the dancing scene, which I'm glad about, because he gestured and pantomimed alot, which increases my visibility. I met Laurie, who started up a conversation with me about Simone de Beauvoir when she saw what book I was reading. It was really cool to meet her because she's the bassist for the punk band "Vietnam," which I had just seen play at Kavarna. We talked about working in film, her life as a musician, and literature. I met "Couger Kelly," who entertained herself during the long takes by cat-calling the sexy producers, videographers and grips on set (Well, there were some really pretty boys working behind the scenes).

All in all, it was a good day. At the very least, I have some cash in my pocket and an excuse to have a viewing party when "my" episode airs.

"The Vampire Diaries" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on the CW. I was told that the episode I'm in is #1.15. After doing some research, I'm not so sure. The theme of the episode is a beauty pageant. So, keep your eyes peeled for me!

Patsy Cline - She's Got You

2010-03-14T09:02:00.001-07:00

What I'm Listening to Now

2010-03-14T08:45:00.001-07:00

When I listen to Patsy Cline, I'm simultaneously a dog-eared little girl sitting on her Daddy's lap, helping him drive his truck (Brown Boy), down a dirt road on a late Saturday afternoon; and an embittered, middle-aged beauty, chain-smoking Pall-Mall's in a country pool hall. I'm simultaneously 7 again, helping my Grum-Grum shell peas and shooing away mangy kittens; and a grandmother myself, thumbing through old pictures for her husband's memorial service, remembering the boy who took me to my first homecoming dance, the boy who died in Korea.
Her music has the power, for me, to connect my identity now with my past - my family - and to make me feel like a totally different person. Which is, I think, the sign of a great storyteller. Enjoy this clip of her singing my favorite song.

Metaphor for My Life

2010-03-14T08:35:00.000-07:00

My car didn't start this morning. Again. For those of you who aren't aware, my car has not been a reliable means of transportation for about 7 months now. It always had a little design "quirk" - which means that sometimes the car will turn on but the engine won't turn over. The "fix" (as described in the owner's manual) is to leave the key in the "on" position for 10 minutes, then turn the car off for no more than 30 seconds, then turn on again. The engine is supposed to reset itself after this, and turn over. So this would happen, maybe, once every few months when I first inherited the car from my dad. Then, it started to happen more frequently. Then it started to happen every day. Then I started to have to do the "trick" 3 or 4 times in a row before the car would start. For those of you counting, this would add 30 or 40 minutes to my commute. Finally, no amount of waiting, coaxing, and praying would persuade the engine to turn over. This has caused no end of worry, tears, anxiety, fighting, and failure to meet commitments. A couple of months ago, I finally broke down and took it to the dealership. Surely THEY can fix it - it's a design flaw by the company! So I had it towed (almost $200), and they "fixed" it ($600). I picked it up a week later, and drove it to school - yeah!! I happened to stay late that night; when I went to go home at 9 p.m., the car wouldn't start. So then I had to have it towed from the fourth floor of the Peavine parking deck. They kept it for about a week, said they couldn't find anything wrong with it, that it started up "every time" for them. What could I do? So, I picked it up again. After working for 3 days, it did it again. At this point, devastated, not knowing what to do, I did what any grown-up, independant woman would do - I called my parents. Since it was my dad's car first, I thought that maybe he could better deal with the mechanics. I don't know what they said to the dealership, but Carla went all "Mama Bear" on them. Within an hour, I had the manager calling me and they had secured a loan vehicle for me. After 3 weeks of glorious mobility in a 2010 cherry red Aveo, the dealership called this week to say, again, they couldn't find anything wrong with my car and that I needed to return the loaner. So I did. My car worked for a few days, then, this morning, as I was running late to church (my turn to teach Sunday School), the car wouldn't start. I tried the old trick, it didn't work. So I had to call my pastor (again) and say (again) that I couldn't fulfill my obligation. So that's where I'm at. I've been talking to my parents, and I think they're going to be my salvation once again. My dad is talking about driving his truck up here for me to use until we can figure out something more permanent. I'll keep you posted.

What I'm Watching Now

2010-03-09T15:53:00.000-08:00

I had heard of the indie movie, "Towelhead," but foolishly didn't pursue watching it because the title didn't tell me enough about it. Last night, I really wanted to watch a movie, and I saw that it was coming on. I thought, eh, why not? Wow - was I pleasantly surprised! The movie deals with some dark content, but the plot and excellent acting by everyone kept me riveted the entire time.
The story centers on 13-year-old Lebanese-American Jasira, growing up in Houston during the height of the Gulf War. At its core, the movie is about a girl trying to navigate through her burgeoning sexuality and the conflicting images of womanhood presented to her by the adults in her life.

Blamed by her mother for sexually "tempting" the mother's boyfriend, Jasira is sent to live with her Lebanese father, who is himself struggling with his identity as a traditional, domineering patriarch and that of a new citizen pursuing the "American Dream."

The characters in this movie are fascinating and complex- from the needy, lonely and demanding mother (played by Maria Bello) to the benignly-racist, entitled next door neighbor (Aaron Eckhart), who struggles (somewhat) with his lust for Jasira. Each adult in the film presents a different vision for who Jasira should be - as a Lebanese, as an American, and as a sexual creature. The actress who plays her does perhaps the best job I've ever seen at portraying the shifting fears, desires, and naivete of adolescent girlhood.

"Towelhead" is a complex and subtle story about identity, race, gender, sex, rape and puberty. It is definitely worth multiple viewings.

A Day in the Life of L5P: A Photo Essay

2010-03-06T18:16:00.000-08:00

The first day of my spring break in the hours between 3 and 7 p.m. in the "Little Five Points" district of Atlanta

Charis Books/Acappella Books

The books I bought.

The upside of fluffy skirts at "Psycho Sisters"

I told the sales clerk I was looking for a skirt - this is the one she recommended. I have a belt that's bigger than this.

While I was taking pictures, these kids were busy sketching.

And, finally, "American Apparel," where you can get a 3 inch-long purple tube top to go with your gold lame spandex capri pants.

"Raaasp-berry Beret!"

I'm Only Blogging Because I'm Afraid of My Homework

2010-02-23T09:11:00.000-08:00

I try not to use this space to whine and moan about my work load. Generally, I've had a fairly stress-free semester so far. This week, however, feels like that dream I have sometimes where I'm in a building or on the top of a ladder and it comes crashing slowly, slowly down, so I can see my death coming. I wish I could close my eyes, open them again, and find myself in next week already. Pray for me, friends, pray for me.

Here are some pictures:

My sister and I took a daytrip to Hot Springs this summer. This sign has been there since I was a child. I just noticed that one of the fudge flavors is "sour balls." Southpark has totally corrupted me.

I believe I took this picture at Calloway Gardens. Pretty, right?

This is me and Margaret at her family's BEACH HOUSE. We're drinking gin and tonics.

I took this picture last Easter on Emory's campus. I'm so ready for spring this year.

This is me and my dad at the Cyclorama, which was a total trip. We both have an affinity for Civil War weaponry. I like how we're smiling and pointing that cannon right at the viewer.

And here's me (little blonde girl in front) acting like a total and complete weirdo. I still sing and dance obliviously to the soundtrack in my head, I've just gotten better at hiding it. I got to be in the homecoming parade when I was six. I loved it because I got to miss school one day to pick out those dresses with my friend, Abbe. Plus I got to wear a wrist corsage like the big girls and got tons of attention. Aren't the homecoming princesses dresses the height of '80's awesomeness?

Poets are Humans, Too

2010-02-19T15:26:00.000-08:00

Cabine du Sucre

When i die,

I will go to the sugar house.

that place

glace

no one can tell the difference

between my body

and the supple sacchrine shine
of the boiling sap

we squeeze fat luxuries
out
from the dying glory of the maples.

Queen Winter,

---her crystal starry-ness coaxing carbon eclipse,

watermarking Douglass firs and constellation furriers ---

lowers me

My bier of snow
to finalize my perfection.

in a dry and weary land

i rest

my temple

against the sinuture

of your mouth

my eyes, heavy-dry,

press parched patterns of death

lashes tapping out my need

on the cool liveliness of your cheek

Willa Cather's characters -

-their infinitude winking across my horizon like prairie grass -

bless this pleasure

Dense duty flashes his face to the door of our oasis
A protest.

Donna B.'s "Archies": My Top Things of 2009: Shameless Idea-Stealing Edition

2010-01-04T19:43:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite ex-professors (or, you could call her Professor X, too, that fits), and a prolific cultural, theological and knit-ological blogger presented her annual "Top (insert whatever number you want) Things of the Year" list; known as the "Archies", named after her son, Archer. I liked the idea, so am shamelessly stealing both the name and the idea to present my own "top" things of 2009 list. Well, actually I don't know if it's stealing so much as propagating or disseminating. Anyway, Donna says about the list, on her blog, http://uniontrueheart.blogspot.com/:

"Listed items must be things in the world, and must have played a significant role in your year. Significance, as will soon become clear, is to be defined solely by subjective criteria . . . Remember: Much like Time Magazine's "Man Of The Year," these need not be your favorite things in the world, only the top things in the world. Play along at your own site or in the comments, anytime through the month of January."

So, without further ado, and with a hat tip to Donna, who is practically perfect in every way, here are my:

Top 25 Things of 2009

Blogging
Twitter
Lady Gaga
Love
the Genitive Case
the Kindle/Nook
President Obama & First Lady Michelle Obama
http://mrs-o.org/
Story podcasts
Alexander Skarsgard
HBO shows
Downloadable coupons to Kroger card via kroger.com
internet scrabble games
Used DVDs for sale at Blockbuster for $5
"Tool Academy"
Just-released best-sellers at the library
Kavarna coffee house
A Personal trainer
Used book stores
Story's "Introduction to New Testament Greek"
Excedrin Migraine
Doc Chey's Iced Jasmine Tea
Rise-n-Dine sweet potato pancakes
MSNBC's "Morning Joe"

Resolutions thru Thick -n-Thin

2010-01-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

So. New Year's Resolutions. The most common one being: loseweightgetinshape. It's not original, but it's a classic.
During the break, I spent a lot of time trying on outfits for various parties/gatherings/picture-taking opportunities where I wanted to look my best. In the process, I discovered that I've gained some weight over the past few months. My skinny jeans no longer fit, and my fat-jeans are now just regular jeans. Specifically, I've gone up a size. On a 5'2 frame, a little extra weight really shows.
So, I've been mulling over this; not really worrying, but pondering the best way for me to "get back to my skinniest size." Last night as I was making a peanut butter sandwich and pouring myself a glass of 2% milk, my mind flicking through the calorie estimate, I thought back to when I was at my skinniest. I didn't achieve 111 lbs. and a size 2 through a stringent diet and intensive cardio - I was sick and extremely unhappy.
The body of mine that got the most compliments, the most second-takes, was the result of relentless nausea, an inability to eat or, when I did eat, keep anything down. My body suffered because my soul was sick. I have been at my "best weight" two times in my life. Both were periods of profound anxiety, depression and stress that marked me so profoundly that I now estimate times and events in terms of "before" and "after" that time in my life. At one point, I couldn't keep down anything for weeks besides (bizarrely) Publix apple pies. I ate sporadicly and at strange times. It made me mad and upset when friends, family and acquaintances would come up to me and say, "Whitney, you look fantastic! What are you doing?" Sometimes I let my impulses get the best of me and would reply, "I've been extremely sick and stressed." Yet even with all this - those horrible memories, the migraines, the crying jags - I still look at myself in the mirror and think back longingly to when I was smaller.
So last night, as I was spreading a huge dollop of peanut butter across my bread, thinking about all those calories, I had a thought that stopped me in the act. "It's 10 p.m., and I'm making a peanut butter sandwich because I'm hungry, and it sounds good to me, and I'm looking forward to eating it."
I may never be a size 2 again, but this time last year I wouldn't have been able to make, eat, keep down and enjoy a peanut butter sandwich.
I'm happier now, and I can enjoy the simple things in life like wearing bright colors, putting on lipgloss, complaining about getting up early, and drinking a cold, delicious glass of full-fat milk.
So I may not lose those extra few pounds that I want to this year, but I promise to smile much more than I did last year . . . and that is far more beautiful to me.

"A Christmas Memory" Memory or Truman Capote is My Favorite Christmas Character

2009-12-08T10:24:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty much a die-hard Christmas traditionalist. Same foods, same schedule, same routines, every year. One year, we couldn't make it to my Grum-Grum's house for Christmas Eve lunch because the roads were iced over. Even when we got tapped by another car and slid off the road and into a ditch, I begged my dad to keep going, try again. "But we have to!!!" I screamed in-between sobs. I was probably 15 at the time.
I blame my mother for this tendancy, who excels in every aspect of festivity planning and attempts to squeeze every cinnamon-scented drop out of the possibilities for family-memory-making between November 26th and December 26th.
Her most inventive holiday tradition, and my favorite, was the Christmas Book Basket. Every year, the gigantic wicker basket would come out of the closet and be placed on the hearth [P.S. - don't you love how the word, "hearth," gets dusted off and trotted out more this time of year than the more quotidien "fireplace?] to be filled with all of our Christmas-themed storybooks, a couple of new ones our Advent treat. Every night, we would read one, and we would try to get through all of them by Christmas.
We don't do this anymore, although I wish we would (in some abbreviated sense, since now we're "all grown up" and living far, far away). One thing about me that I suppose should be called an embarrassing secret that I'm actually not embarrassed about at all is how much I love children's books. How fun, enchanted and special to spend an uninterrupted hour alone in the children's section at Barnes & Noble!
My favorite Christmas book is "A Christmas Memory," by Truman Capote. If you haven't read it, go read it this year. Even though the Christmas Book Basket is now just my Christmas Memory, re-reading this old friend never ceases to fill me with the same excitement I felt then.
Please comment: What's your favorite Christmas book? Also, please take my quiz to the right: What's your favorite holiday activity?

HomeGoods StyleScope - I'm a Glamorous Classic

2009-11-24T16:26:00.001-08:00

HomeGoods StyleScope - I'm a Glamorous Classic

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The Happy Writer, Part Deux

2009-11-16T18:14:00.000-08:00

So, have all of you been inspired to do the creative writing exercise I blogged about last time? I hope it inspired you the way it did me. I've been gone a couple of days, or I would have posted this sooner. Without further ado, Things I Like and Things I Don't Like in books.

Things I Like:
Rich Descriptions
Evocative, Imaginative Descriptions
Nature as a metaphor for emotions
Mysteries
Historical Settings
Stories involving sisters
"Hint" of Fantasy
Multi-layered Narrative
Witty humor
Stories involving Native American Cultures
Stories involving chefs or descriptions of food
Stories set in 19th century Britain

Things I Dislike:
Bad Writing
Racism/Sexism prevalent in undertones
Multiple Narrators
Endings too "neat"
Endings too ambiguous
Too much violence or gore
Stories with no sense of humor in them whatsoever
Books set in Australia
Pompous morality tales (I'm looking at you, Charles Dickens)
First-person address to the reader

What about y'all?

The Happy Writer

2009-11-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

I don't really write for fun anymore, and that's a shame, because I used to really enjoy fiction writing as a creative outlet. I was reminded of this long-ignored hobby this week while reading the online work of Cleolinda Jones (her work can be found here). She's most well-known for her hilarious commentary on the "Twilight" series and other works in the fantasy genre. She's often self-deprecating about being known as an expert/commentator on "tween" literature. However, in an interview I read, she talks about the importance of writing about what you love. Later, she re-tweeted an article about the same subject written by author Rosemary Clement Moore on Genreality.net. Moore divulges a writing exercise found in the book, "No Plot, No Problem," to help you determine what you really love to write. Here's her description of the exercise:

Draw a line down the middle of a page to make two columns . . . At the top of one put: Things I love in books. List all the things that you love in a story. Do not edit yourself. No matter how trite, cliché, cheesy, un-feminist, un-macho, or what your mother would say about it… put that on your list. (For example, I love witty verbal fencing between the hero and heroine. Also, books with dogs.)
Got it? Okay. Title the second column: Things I hate in books. List all the things that turn you off, bore you, or make you throw the book against the wall. No matter how classic and erudite, or how popular or trendy, write them down. (My example: I have an arbitrary dislike of present tense, despite many wonderful books being written that way.)
Remember! These aren’t things that are bad writing, just things that you don’t like. The whole point is, these are subjective. Your may love something your best friend hates, and that’s okay. Neither one is “wrong.” (For both lists, it’s more useful to list general things rather than specific books/authors. If you dislike a book, try and figure out why.)
Okay, so now here’s the complicated part. Sit down and write your book. Put in everything (well, maybe not everything) you have on your “love” list and don’t put in what’s on your “hate” list.
What happens sometimes when we write–All of us!–is the inner editor says: That’s a dumb idea. That’s cliché, no one likes that but you, you freak. And in the other ear, the inner English Teacher speaks from the part of your subconscious where she’s been living since the ninth grade and says, “These things you hate make great literature. They are Worthy and Important. You just hate these things because they’re Good For You.

Reading all this has really made me reflect on my own writing. I've realized that I suppressed myself in my writing because the voice of my inner critic is so loud. Even my "fun" writing has been limited because of what some hypothetical person might say in some hypothetical situation in which my stories would see the light of day. I've been inspired this week to reclaim this part of my life, and also challenged to make my own list. Stay tuned.

Jane Fonda Quick Hits

2009-11-10T18:17:00.000-08:00

I just got back from working at the annual Planned Parenthood Action Fund fundraiser. It was a great time spent with a group of lovely, intelligent and passionate people. And Jane Fonda spoke, y'all! I have to admit, I've never been celebrity-struck too much by her. But, man! After hearing her speak I might just have to "netflix" all her movies! There's so much that could be said about her message, the evening, and the work of PP in general. But for now, here are just a few of the amazing, insightful, funny things she said.

(On Ted Turner, her "favorite ex-husband") "Ted has spent tens of millions of dollars to prevent female genital multilation around the world. He's a man who really puts his money where his mouth is (joke)."

"Women's health brings out right-wing stealth."

"Georgia has the 4th highest school drop-out rate in the country, and teen pregnancy is the #1 cause of school drop-outs

"I'm always surprised that people are surprised we're still fighting this issue. I'm not surprised . . . this issue is about power."

That Time of the Year

2009-11-06T12:13:00.000-08:00

Not holiday season. That time near the end of the semester where I have a zillion things to do, but get behind because I'm so stressed I get laid out by a migraine for about a week. That fun time. I have about 6 different posts that I have started to write (all totally brilliant, natch), but have other things to write or edit or stare at for about 45 minutes, so I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. Truth be told, I'm not doing so hot. Greek is really testing me, and senioritis has kicked in, so I'm just dog-tired most of the time. Please pray for me. A lot of times I question why I'm here; what I'm doing; what the heck does God want from me? Did I just make up this whole "call" thing? In those times when I really want to eat a whole pan of brownies, queue up the 7th season of Gilmore Girls and just give up, I know that the only thing that gets me through the day is prayer and chapel. Thank you for your prayers, dear ones. It may not seem like much to you, but I feel it. It helps. I know it does. So please keep praying. Pray I can hold on to this wack-a-doo dream by my little fingernail, that I won't fail any of my classes this semester, and can do it all with a little bit of faith, hope and grace still intact. Thank you from my heart. Love, W.

What I'm Listening to Now

2009-10-22T09:01:00.002-07:00

For my New Testament class, we have to read through the NT (obviously). The pace is pretty quick and hard to keep up with. I didn't really want to repeat the experience of slogging through the OT while also keeping up with reading multiple commentaries in addition to my other schoolwork. So, I started shopping around for a good audio version to listen to so I could re-familiarize myself with the text while doing other things.

I thought about buying the classic audio version read by James Earl Jones - who I love - but heard the sample and kept thinking I was hearing the Bible read to me by Darth Vader. I first saw "The Bible Experience" several years ago in an Arkansas Cokesbury store. I was intrigued by it at the time, and have since picked it up many times. However, like any good audio Bible, it's pretty pricey and I could never afford to buy the whole thing, especially since (already owning several Bibles) I didn't have a need for it. So, when I was shopping for podcasts of the NT this time around, I saw that you can purchase individual books of this program through ITunes. Cha-ching!! I could buy what I needed at a fraction of the cost I would spend to buy the entire physical version and still have access to (in my mind) the best audio performance of the Bible around.

And it is a performance. With people like Blair Underwood (Jesus), Samuel L. Jackson (God) and Denzel Washington (Song of Songs), in addition to legendary gospel singers and acclaimed pastors voicing the characters and narration, the result is bar-none. In addition to the excellent vocal rendition of the text, original scoring and original gospel music accompanies it. I didn't know that actual "music-music" was a part of it, and was totally disoriented when, while listening to 2nd Corinthians, heard a "get on your feet" gospel song blare out randomly between paragraphs. Once I got used to it, though, I came to enjoy these random "dance-breaks." The songs correspond to whichever topic the text is covering at the moment. The books also feature high-quality, realistic sound effects. So, for example, during the performance of 1st and 2nd Corinthians, you hear Paul speaking over the sound of a ship at sea during a storm. In Galatians, you hear Paul speaking from a marketplace. Sometimes, I must admit, all this extra noise is a bit distracting (especially that damn duck who quacks all the way through Galatians). With all the extra music, scoring, sound effects and multiple voices, sometimes it's a bit overwhelming. However, my attention from the story certainly isn't zapped the way it was when listening to samples from either James Earl Jones or Johnny Cash, who read with NOTHING behind their voices. The only other con about this audio is that it is treated as a true performance, so no chapters or verses are read, which makes it difficult in my case, where I need to be aware of text critical issues. However, overall, I feel like I have fallen in love with the Bible again. I'm actually excited to drive the 40 minutes through rush-hour traffic to get to-school-and-back, just so I can listen to more. I definitely will be asking for the entire physical version for Christmas. How could I miss Angie-frickin'-Stone singing the Psalms! or Forest Whitaker as Moses!

The Bible Experience

2009-10-22T09:01:00.001-07:00

"Love's Labour's Lost"

2009-10-14T19:23:00.000-07:00

So, I lost my wedding ring. I've been putting off telling Brandon, hoping it would turn up. It's been a month, which is the longest amount of time I've misplaced it without it showing up. I know how and when I lost it, and a general trajectory of where it might be (somewhere between my house and Twain's parking lot). I stuck it in my pocket the day my car broke down because I had to root around under the hood and didn't want my jewelry to get scratched or in the way. When I finally got home after a hot, sticky, frustrating and expensive 5 hours (Mechanic: "Well, if this happens again, the only option you have is to get a new car"), I peeled off my skinny jeans and my heavy costume cocktail ring popped out of my pocket. The pocket of my stupid, blasted spandex/lycra/denim pants had turned inside out during all of my movement and commotion that afternoon. My wedding band, which is much smaller and lighter, was nowhere to be found.

I'm devastated.

Brandon designed the ring himself, and it was made for us by a company that makes eco-conscious, socially-responsible, recycled fine jewelry. Of course it has tons of sentimental value, not to mention the monetary value. I didn't want an engagement ring for feminist and financial reasons, so my wedding band represented both (I wore it during my engagement). It's beautiful and simple, with diamonds flush against the band and tiny beading around the edges. Pure white gold is soft, so it had adapted to fit my finger, which I discovered is not actually round, but kindof oblong or oval-shaped.

The day I got it is like the second-to-last scene in a romantic comedy, as well. Brandon was coming to visit me at my parents' house right before Christmas, and had arranged for the company to ship it there so he could give it to me during his visit. Unfortunately, that was 2006 when all of the horrible blizzards and ice storms blanketed much of the Midwest. My ring was coming from Idaho. Brandon had to keep making up excuses to leave the house to go to the Post Office to see if it had arrived. It still hadn't arrived a week later, after his visit had ended. However, I'm from a very small town where everyone knows everyone else's business and service people come to your house if you need them too because they go to church with you or you babysat their kid and they love you. So, the Post Master hand-delivered the ring to my house on Christmas morning because he knew how important it was and had been along on this anxious, crazy ride with Brandon and my parents for over two weeks. Pure Christmas Love and Joy.

So, that's the story of my ring - the symbol of my love and eternal commitment to my husband. I hate to think it was lost randomly on some stupid day when I made the decision to temporarily store it in sticky, tight pants on a hot, frantic day.
I hadn't been wearing anything on my ring finger, hoping that he wouldn't notice. He didn't say anything. But, I didn't like not having a wedding ring on, and I didn't want to keep lying-by-omission to him. I inherited my great-grandmother's wedding band, so today I started wearing it on my ring finger. It's very traditional; a thick gold band, very simple. It has my great-grandparents initials in curly script on the inside. I have the same initials as my great-grandfather, so it feels somewhat like my own. It's a good replacement, but it's still a replacement. Brandon's upset, like me, of course, but is showing grace, love and patience to me about it. Which represents our marriage more than a ring, I think.

Pictures of the Animals (and Pumpkins)

2009-10-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

My Cupcake is Smarter than a 5th Grader

2009-10-09T14:12:00.000-07:00

Baking, like knitting, has come back in a big way. Consequently, publishers, DIY-ers, and wannabe-professional crafters have put forth a slew of cookbooks in the past few years aimed at hip, 3rd wave feminists. I'd thumbed through this book at bookstores before, and was thrilled when a friend sold hers to me for 2$ at a yard sale back in April. I haven't yet attempted this (Brandon jokes that he wants this for his birthday), but I tried out a really cool and simple decorating techniqe on a couple of batches a month ago.
Basically, you melt storebought frosting in the microwave for 10 seconds, then dip the tops of the cupcakes into it. The frosting dries quickly and gives you a smooth, shiny surface that is perfect for writing or other intricate decorating. I don't have a microwave, but achieved workable results on the stovetop.
I didn't think it was smart to keep batches of cupcakes in the house for myself, so I decided to experiment on my Greek class. 24 cupcakes in a batch; 24 letters in the Greek alphabet. Here, I present with trepidation, the results:

Blurry, but here's a pic of the cookbook turned open to the page where technique is demonstrated, juxtaposed with my Greek book. On the right is a closeup of alpha and omega cupcakes.

The tray above shows the cupcakes which didn't turn out as well. They were the first batch I did. Below are the second batch of cupcakes I decorated. You can tell that my hand got stronger and I got more confident the further along in alphabet!

The cake was devil's food, frosting was vanilla, writing was chocolate. If I were to make them again, I would use a vanilla or even a lemon cake. The chocolate showed through too much. Also, I would fill up the batter to nearly the top of the pan, because the cupcakes that were underfilled were too difficult to dip into the frosting. I wasn't especially happy with the results, but my Greek class seemed to like them!

Cure for What Ails You

2009-10-01T13:20:00.000-07:00

You know what relieves post-midterm depression? Nothing. But knowing that both Tori Amos AND Bob Dylan are releasing holiday albums this year certainly helps.

Tori's album, "Midwinter Graces," will be released November 10th and will include her take on traditional Christmas carols as well as some TA originals (of course). I'm probably most excited about the song titled, "Pink and Glitter," mainly because last year I purchased a hot pink, glittery, aluminum Christmas tree for my home (it came with a hot pink reindeer decoration; how could I resist?). Because she's awesome, she will also release a deluxe edition which includes a dvd.

Dylan's album - "Christmas in the Heart" - skews towards the traditional, featuring classic songs like "Here Comes Santa Claus" and "The Little Drummer Boy (known to me as 'the song that will not die')." If you only have money for one, but can't decide, I say buy "Christmas in the Heart." 100% of all proceeds (including future royalties) go to Feeding America, guaranteeing that more than four million meals will be provided to more than 1.4 million people in need in this country during the 2009 holiday season. One more reason I love him. Dylan is also releasing a deluxe version which includes greeting cards featuring the cover artwork. This record debuts October 13th. You can pre-order Tori's album here and Bobby D's here.

Get REAL

2009-09-29T17:04:00.000-07:00

This week is Planned Parenthood's National Sex Education Awareness week, in support of the REAL Act (Responsible Education About Life). Yesterday, I participated in my first PP advocacy event - making rally signs and networking. This afternoon, I joined other health advocates in a rally in support of the act on the steps of Georgia's capitol. I was late, so missed quite a bit, but was encouraged to see so many people passionate about this issue. I have a really crappy camera, but hopefully will have pix up by next week. Basically, we chanted and got drivers to honk in support of comprehensive sex education in our schools. The PP literature says is best, so I'm just going to block quote it directly:

A coalition of groups in Georgia will be coordinating the 2009 National Week of Action focused on sex education the week of September 28 – October 2.
This National Week of Action is aimed at educating our communities and decision makers about the importance of comprehensive sex education in our school systems.
Raising awareness about the Responsible Education About Life Act (the REAL Act), the federal bill that promotes the use of comprehensive sex education programs, will be a core message. This bill will provide funding to states for medically accurate, age appropriate, comprehensive sexuality education in the schools that includes information about both abstinence and contraception.
Participating individuals and organizations: Representative Kathy Ashe, Representative Rashad Taylor, Representative Pat Gardner, Representative Tyrone Brooks, Representative Virgil Fludd, Representative Margaret Kaiser, Representative Stephanie Stuckey Benfield, APS Board Member Khaatim Sherrer El, Senator Vincent Fort,Emory Religion & Public Health Collaborative, Planned Parenthood, Georgia Parents for Responsible Health Education, Feminist Women’s Health Center, Sistersong, Georgia WAND, Georgia Rural Urban Summit, Georgia Equality, Chatham County Youth Commission, Youth Futures, Advocates for Youth, SIECUS, Sierra Club, Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance at AASU.

For more information about the REAL Act, I recommend checking out http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/, always a great site.

If You're Driving Through Arkansas. . .

2009-09-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

. . .You might just see some of my favorite place names. One of the small pleasures of life is passing unique and quirky sights on a long road trip. When you're driving through Arkansas, there are multiple opportunities for this, as the state is mainly rural. Some of my favorites:

Bauxite (a mineral found in the area), Bee Branch, Bonanza, Calamine, Crumrod, Delight, Fifty-Six, Flippin, Hasty, Holiday Island, Hoxie, Ink, Keo, Magazine, Oil Trough (so named because it was a processing center for oil made from bear fat),Ozone, Pocahantas, Powhatan, Prim, Reader, Smackover, Stamps, Success, Twist, Toad Suck (near my college town; home of the annual Toad Suck Daze Festival and toad race), Umpire, Vendor, Yellville.

You can find more here. What are some fun town names from your home state?

This is what a Feminist Looks Like

2009-09-25T17:25:00.000-07:00

In honor of National Sex Education Week starting on Monday, I'll be posting a lot of gyno-heavy material in the upcoming days. I saw this picture and was absolutely thrilled. What would our world look like if all religious leaders stood up for women's rights?

"I call myself a feminist," said the Dalai Lama in Memphis yesterday. "Isn't that what you call someone who fights for women's rights?"

What I'm Reading Now

2009-09-24T07:14:00.001-07:00

(Okay, besides Charlaine Harris' "Southern Vampire" Series)

Last year, Terri Gross interviewed author Michelle Goldberg about this book on the NPR program, "Fresh Air." Goldberg is a journalist, and approaches contemporary and historical actions of reproductive restriction and freedom with the precision of well-trained researcher and the passion of an activist. She uses the topic of abortion as a "flashpoint," a way of really talking about all of the ideologies that under gird discussions of women's reproductive freedom. She closely examines how shifting mores, fears over gender roles, and reactions to Western influences have significantly hurt (and killed) women in Africa, Latin America, Asia and Europe. Her introduction says it best:

All over the planet, conflicts between tradition and modernity are being fought on the terrain of women's bodies. Globalization is challenging traditional social arrangements. It is upsetting economic stability, bring women into the workforce, and beaming images of Western individualism into the remotest villages while drawing more and more people into ever growing cities. All this spurs conservative backlashes, as right-wingers promise anxious, disoriented people that chaos can be contained if only the old sexual order is enforced. Yet the subjugation of women is just making things worse, creating all manner of demographic, economic, and public health problems.

This is not just a story about abortion, though abortion tends to be a flashpoint. It is, rather, about how great international powers have worked to influence the rights of the world's women, and how, conversely, women's rights will ultimately shape the future.

Goldberg effectively uses statistics to show the scale of problems caused by the global restriction of women's health programs, and individual stories to show how these somewhat abstract theories and statistics impact women on a very-real level.

As we approach National Sex Education Week, I cannot think of a more appropriate resource for a time when discussions over women and children's health have become stilted and stale.

Time Traveling . . . by Dray, Hansom Cab, Carriage or Steamer.

2009-09-21T08:06:00.000-07:00

I was the kind of child easily influenced by melodramatic romanticism and prone to fanciful daydreams of the corset and powdered-wig variety. I especially loved British history and literature. I wanted nothing more than to travel back to a time when women wore long dresses and walked across the heath to quell their broken hearts; and men wore bowler hats and pulled pocket watches out of their vests to check the time of the next train.

One of the favorite parts of my week was Sunday night, when my parents and I would gather around the t.v. to watch "Masterpiece Theatre." I remember doing this from the time I was very small, to when I lived with them after college. When I was particularly little, I never understood what was going on in the plot. The accents, the strange vocabulary, the non-remastered sound quality, all contributed to 2 hours of confusion. But that didn't matter. It was the ritual. I would lay on the couch with my parents and the music, the dialogue, the costumes would wash over me and lull me into relaxation. Eventually, as I grew, I began to look forward to the entertainment as much as the time spent with my parents. That music would start, Alastair Cooke would show up, and you would settle in for a romp through the grimy alleys of London or the moors of Wales. "Masterpiece Mystery!" was even better. Kudos to the producer who animated the works of Edward Gorey and set them to music for the opening title.

The most lasting love of my life from that series has been the character and adventures of Sherlock Holmes.http://http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Sherlock_Holmes_(television) I have been left with an obsession with this character and his life that is one step away from papering my walls and locker with his picture. The definitive portrayal of Holmes is Jeremy Brett in the "Masterpiece" series. When the BBC was playing this series, Sunday nights were an extra special treat.

I was so happy to discover that PBS Atlanta often shows this series late on Sunday nights. Last night, I watched "The Musgrave Ritual" episode. Maybe it's because I'm far away from my family, or have read or seen every adventure Holmes has taken so many times, but when I watch the show now, I find that I have come full circle. The show brings less adventure and romanticism into my life than it does comfort, as I am flooded with memories of laying against my dad in silence for two hours, both of us sharing a love for history and mystery. I remember drifting in and out of sleep on the couch watching "I, Claudius," waking up every now and then to ask Daddy who Octavia Claudius was, or have him point out and explain to me what Hadrian's Wall is, and tell me that it's still standing, and we could go visit it.

My parents were pretty strict sometimes about what we could watch - I couldn't watch "Beavis and Butthead," deflating my attempts to bond with other 11-year-olds - but I'm so grateful that they overlooked the sex, violence, and adult themes doubtless present in the Masterpiece series and allowed me to watch it with them. I know, from now on, when I get homesick, I can turn to PBS on Sunday night, and time-travel back to that two-hour period every week I could cuddle inbetween the two people who love me the most, and all was right with the world.

Blue Moon

2009-09-15T10:59:00.000-07:00

So, this blog seems to have gone the way of both my knitting and jewelry-making hobbies. I'm not that dedicated to it - mainly because I don't like blogging about all my problems and frequent existential crises - and I'm never sure what to write about. But, because so many of my loved ones are like so many points on a net that have been cast from Decatur, GA and into the world, I wanted to have a place where I could post updates, pictures, and yes, even the occasional epiphany. So, I'll try to be more consistent with these. Until next time, enjoy these random pictures from a hot, crazy summer. Love, Whit.

3 Licks

2009-07-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

I know, I know! This blog seems to have gone the way of my knitting hobby and ROTC career. I promise that I'll do better at updating - for all 2 of you that read my blog. I just started a radio station online and linked it to this site. Check me out as DJ "Runaway County" on blip.fm. Love y'all!

Whatever happened to SYATP?

2009-04-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else remember "See You at the Pole?" the yearly event where teen Christians would gather before school around the flagpole and pray for the country, school, teachers and students? Anyway, I'm thinking about it because I need a moment of prayer!! I always approach the end of semester with feelings of doom. This time around, I have approximately 70 pages to write before the end of next week and I am feeling like the psalmist in the pit!! Please pray for me friends.

What I'm Reading Now

2009-04-18T09:51:00.001-07:00

I guess it was inevitable that I'd go the way of so many other Tori Amos fans and start reading Neil Gaiman (TA's friend and collaborator). "Fragile Things" is a collection of award-winning short stories published several years ago. This is actually my fourth NG book I've bought and read. I also have "Coraline," "Good Omens," and "The Graveyard Book." I like buying compilations of short stories because I read a "fun" book after I get into bed and before I turn off the lights and go to sleep. I love a good story, but I have no self-control and will literally stay up all night to finish a great book. Gaiman writes generally dark, fantastical material. He has a wicked sense of humor that lands somewhere between dry and psychotic. So far, my favorite tale in this collection is "A Study in Emerald," a Sherock Holmes story that was written to mimic both the styles of Conan Doyle and H.P. Lovecraft, according to the author. This is a great book for the bedside table.

Grad School Field Trip

2009-04-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my "World Religions" class took a field trip to a worship service at the Atlanta Masjid of Al-Islam. I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to truly experience the diversity of Atlanta and our world.
The mosque had recently celebrated their 50th anniversary, and has deep roots in the civil rights movement and history of Nation of Islam (of which they were a part until the leadership changed direction after Malcolm X's assassination and changed their name).
American Southern Christianity has such a rich history of "the black church." Older women, regal in their colorful suits and matching hats; the energy of pastoral delivery and the congregational response. These "markers" are so associated with the black Christian church, that to witness them in the presence of the "black mosque" was disorienting.
The room in which the service took place was carpeted and empty, save for a lectern at the front and shelves along the wall for everyone's shoes. Prayer, both recorded and spoken by a local muezzin, began the service informally about 30 minutes before the imam's lecture. The room quickly filled up after the children from the mosque's locally-run Muslim private school arrived. The men and boys were in the front, the women and girls in the back.
The service consisted primarily of prayer, a 2-part lecture by the imam, then corporate prayer.
Besides the experience in general, the most powerful moment for me was the silent prayer that took place before the imam spoke. Despite not knowing what the muezzin was singing (or maybe because of it), the beauty of words washed over me. Everyone participating was worshipping in their own way - standing, sitting, or bowing. Noise from the crowd in the outer hall was filtering in, but people weren't bothered by it - they were totally caught up in the moment. It was one of the few times I was actually able to be present-focused myself and just mentally "breathe" and appreciate the experience. It reminded me of the importance of prayer, quiet, and contemplation in the life of faith. Unfortunately, these things are present too infrequently in my own life. Salaam (Peace).

Bikini (over)Kill

2009-04-16T13:32:00.000-07:00

So, due to the varying degrees of crapittude that marked 2008, I decided that 2009 would be the "year of Whitney." A couple of my priorities included increasing my fitness level (strength training) and "strutting it." My definition of strutting includes several concrete actions, undergirded by a mindset that engenders a positive body image (No more "I'm too fat to wear this"!). The "concrete actions" agenda includes: buying and wearing hot pink lipstick (done), buying and wearing short-shorts this summer (not yet) and buying and wearing (proudly!) my first bikini. So, with these goals in mind, I have been anxiously looking forward to swimsuit buying season so I could get a jump-start on my strut. I looked online - Victoria's Secret! DeLia's! even some sites that sold "suits" that maybe weren't designed with swimming in mind. At home, in my bra and panties, I felt confident in my hottitude and even thought about taking this little experiment in self-realization farther. Thong bikini? Why not! I'm young! Live a little!

Then, yesterday, I went shopping. I picked up multiple skimpy, triangle-style bikinis to try on at Target and recoiled in horror when I put them on. Look at my legs - they're so short and fat! And...oh no...cellulite already! You've got to be kidding me! And I guess my stomach's not as fit as I thought! How could I dare put on a one-piece, much less a triangle bikini?!!The whole experience was so disheartening. I've worked hard at confronting the ridiculous body image standards for women and changing my thought patterns to reject society's illusion that every woman should look like a porn star. To be so excited about swimsuit buying and wearing, then to find myself still stuck in the same ridiculous thought-pattern that every woman has, made me question my self-esteem altogether.

It's not all bad, though. I did end up buying a suit, though not the daring one I wanted. I bought the tankini pictured. I love the print - it's fun, young, and reminds me of those adorable Lisa Frank folders. I'm still on the search for the perfect bikini. I'm still on the search for love and acceptance of the body that fills it.

Spring - One Day Only!

2009-04-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

It appears as though the White Witch has taken Spring hostage this year. Snow! In April! In Georgia! Today we have tornado warnings and thunderstorms again. However, we were gifted with the most perfect Easter Sunday yesterday. Thank the Lord for small, perfect miracles. I took a stroll around Emory Village to bask in the sunshine and took some photographs while I was out. Some of my favorites came from an "Easter tree" in the yard of Glenn Memorial UMC. The dogwood was in bloom, and parishoners had hung brightly colored plastic eggs from the branches. Here are a couple of pictures.

He is Risen!

2009-04-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

We are an Easter People!
image courtesy of Pitts Library Digital Image Archive.

Easter Eve

2009-04-11T14:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Easter morning. Even though I've lived away from home for over three years, I still feel bereft when holidays roll around. I'm so grateful to have parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles who took every opportunity to celebrate lavishly.
Springtime belonged to my Dad's parents - my Grum-Grum and Pa-Paw. Pa-Paw was obsessive about dying easter eggs. Every April, my grandmother would bring home 10 or 12 dozen eggs - some from their own hens - and transform their small kitchen into the Easter Bunny's workshop. The air was thick with the smell of vinegar; the countertops laden with every type of egg decor the Piggly-Wiggly sold. Pa-paw could make the most beautiful eggs. His secret was to leave the egg in the dye for a REALLY LONG TIME. I never had the patience to wait that long, but would take possessive delight in his collection of beautiful, jewel-toned creations.
After they were ready, my mother and grandmother would hide all of the eggs in their vast yard. We could never find them all, and would realize exactly how many we didn't find months later during an ill-fated mowing trip or when the dogs would get sick.
May your Easter holiday bring sweet memories and bright hope for the future.