Butterbean Bouquet

Sunday, March 14, 2010

When I listen to Patsy Cline, I'm simultaneously a dog-eared little girl sitting on her Daddy's lap, helping him drive his truck (Brown Boy), down a dirt road on a late Saturday afternoon; and an embittered, middle-aged beauty, chain-smoking Pall-Mall's in a country pool hall. I'm simultaneously 7 again, helping my Grum-Grum shell peas and shooing away mangy kittens; and a grandmother myself, thumbing through old pictures for her husband's memorial service, remembering the boy who took me to my first homecoming dance, the boy who died in Korea.
Her music has the power, for me, to connect my identity now with my past - my family - and to make me feel like a totally different person. Which is, I think, the sign of a great storyteller. Enjoy this clip of her singing my favorite song.

Metaphor for My Life

My car didn't start this morning. Again. For those of you who aren't aware, my car has not been a reliable means of transportation for about 7 months now. It always had a little design "quirk" - which means that sometimes the car will turn on but the engine won't turn over. The "fix" (as described in the owner's manual) is to leave the key in the "on" position for 10 minutes, then turn the car off for no more than 30 seconds, then turn on again. The engine is supposed to reset itself after this, and turn over. So this would happen, maybe, once every few months when I first inherited the car from my dad. Then, it started to happen more frequently. Then it started to happen every day. Then I started to have to do the "trick" 3 or 4 times in a row before the car would start. For those of you counting, this would add 30 or 40 minutes to my commute. Finally, no amount of waiting, coaxing, and praying would persuade the engine to turn over. This has caused no end of worry, tears, anxiety, fighting, and failure to meet commitments. A couple of months ago, I finally broke down and took it to the dealership. Surely THEY can fix it - it's a design flaw by the company! So I had it towed (almost $200), and they "fixed" it ($600). I picked it up a week later, and drove it to school - yeah!! I happened to stay late that night; when I went to go home at 9 p.m., the car wouldn't start. So then I had to have it towed from the fourth floor of the Peavine parking deck. They kept it for about a week, said they couldn't find anything wrong with it, that it started up "every time" for them. What could I do? So, I picked it up again. After working for 3 days, it did it again. At this point, devastated, not knowing what to do, I did what any grown-up, independant woman would do - I called my parents. Since it was my dad's car first, I thought that maybe he could better deal with the mechanics. I don't know what they said to the dealership, but Carla went all "Mama Bear" on them. Within an hour, I had the manager calling me and they had secured a loan vehicle for me. After 3 weeks of glorious mobility in a 2010 cherry red Aveo, the dealership called this week to say, again, they couldn't find anything wrong with my car and that I needed to return the loaner. So I did. My car worked for a few days, then, this morning, as I was running late to church (my turn to teach Sunday School), the car wouldn't start. I tried the old trick, it didn't work. So I had to call my pastor (again) and say (again) that I couldn't fulfill my obligation. So that's where I'm at. I've been talking to my parents, and I think they're going to be my salvation once again. My dad is talking about driving his truck up here for me to use until we can figure out something more permanent. I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

What I'm Watching Now

I had heard of the indie movie, "Towelhead," but foolishly didn't pursue watching it because the title didn't tell me enough about it. Last night, I really wanted to watch a movie, and I saw that it was coming on. I thought, eh, why not? Wow - was I pleasantly surprised! The movie deals with some dark content, but the plot and excellent acting by everyone kept me riveted the entire time.
The story centers on 13-year-old Lebanese-American Jasira, growing up in Houston during the height of the Gulf War. At its core, the movie is about a girl trying to navigate through her burgeoning sexuality and the conflicting images of womanhood presented to her by the adults in her life.

Blamed by her mother for sexually "tempting" the mother's boyfriend, Jasira is sent to live with her Lebanese father, who is himself struggling with his identity as a traditional, domineering patriarch and that of a new citizen pursuing the "American Dream."

The characters in this movie are fascinating and complex- from the needy, lonely and demanding mother (played by Maria Bello) to the benignly-racist, entitled next door neighbor (Aaron Eckhart), who struggles (somewhat) with his lust for Jasira. Each adult in the film presents a different vision for who Jasira should be - as a Lebanese, as an American, and as a sexual creature. The actress who plays her does perhaps the best job I've ever seen at portraying the shifting fears, desires, and naivete of adolescent girlhood.